Friday, February 17, 2006

Ah, Berroco.

Berroco's fugliness has been well-documented. (See Exhibit A, Exhibit B). I receive Berroco's KnitBits newsletter in my inbox every Friday, and I open it with some trepidation--what horrific example of knitting will I see today? Yes, today's was definitely terrible (see here), but I want to talk about another phenomenon in their newsletter--fake questions.

You see, in every KnitBits newsletter, there is a question from an aspiring "knitter" (and I use that term loosely) about one of Berroco's "yarns" or "patterns." I suspect these are most often made up by the "editors" to sell said "yarns" and "patterns."

Witness today's post:

Roberta from cyberspace wrote: "I love your new ribbon yarn Yoga. I want to make a dressy top to wear to my niece's wedding in your color #6412 Ashram. I want to wear it over some linen pants that will coordinate. I look best in tunics and I love to wear lots of big jewelry. I want a cover-up with some conservative drama. Vilma looks interesting but the drawstring and bare upper arm is not for me. Can you help me modify this pattern?"

Before we move on to the answer, let's examine the question first. This woman wants to knit a top out of this yarn to wear to a wedding? My misgivings about using ribbon yarn to knit a top aside, this questioner wants to knit a "cover-up with some conservative drama." I don't know what she thinks "conservative drama" means, but metallic gold ribbon doesn't exactly scream conservative to me.

So what about the pattern she wants to alter in order to create this "conservative drama?"

This seems a little more Jeanne Bice than Nancy Reagan, no?

And Berroco's supportive response:

"Roberta, I am so glad that you asked this question. I want all our readers to know that you can feel free to omit details to suit your individual style. Vilma can become a u-neck tunic by simply omitting the sleeve slits and the drawstring at the side. Another option for a dressy tunic that looks great with loads of big jewelry is Megan in Booklet #244 knit in Cotton Twist™. For a western take on Megan you could knit it in Suede™, Suede™ Deluxe or Suede™ Tri-Color. I hope I can encourage you and our readers to feel free to take our patterns to another level.

Be creative . . . be free!"

Margery Winter
Creative Director

Doesn't this seem to be a set-up from the start? You be the judge.

Coming next week--photos of Kiri and afghan in progress, finished photos of Saranac, if my husband will pose.


Karen said...

Can I ignore the part about Berroco and just chant for the hubby: pose, pose, pose?

helen said...

haha. i just read that in my inbox. i never thought of it that way, but you make me wonder. because the questions are always goofy sounding.

LaBean said...

What idjits. Yep, Sounds very contrived to me. For the record I doubt I would ever even USE Berocco yarns anyway. And what's wrong with a top made of ribbon yarn? :D

Laura said...

I only sign up for the newsletters in hopes of winning their prize thing. I don't even remember what the prize is! I never actually open the newsletters.

Fake question--no doubt about it!

Corrina said...

"Another option for a dressy tunic that looks great with loads of big jewelry..."

No good can ever come from that phrase.